Stop Running From ME

We can only run so far, until we run out of excuses.

There is a way that seemeth right to a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. - Proverbs 14:12 (Image: Unsplash)

It’s funny how our minds work. I thought I had a plan for my life.

After so many years away from the pulpit and God’s original assignment as a minister, I wanted to become a journalist. I wanted to be the hard-nosed investigative reporter who faithfully walked her beat, finding the stories everyone would discuss.

I wanted to talk to hundreds of interesting people, go to extraordinary and sometimes dangerous places, and gather research and information that I would take home to my computer, a hot cup of joe in one hand. My earbuds blared my favorite music as I hammered away at the keyboard and typed out the next great news story. And that made me feel like a queen.

Did I ever get to live that fantasy? Yeah! I did. Just on a much smaller scale than most professionals.

But after a while, the path to this dream was met with interruptions, disappointment, and detours, which left me feeling lost and disillusioned. The job market in journalism became more competitive; I had to learn and do more to catch up. Positions I applied for ghosted me or gave me a vague answer about the status of my application, and I revised my resume countless times, reinventing myself as I went, all to no avail.

I found myself fighting one uphill battle after another because I had strayed from my original plan: ministry.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways, acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” - Proverbs 3: 5-6 (Image: Unsplash)

Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end of those are the ways of death.” It was a hard pill to swallow, but as my dad clarified during one of our chats, some paths aren’t meant for us to walk. As much as we believe in our dreams and, for some of us, go out of our way to make them happen, sometimes the battle lies with our inability to accept the truth that we may not be meant for that dream.

I am not saying we are not meant to have a destiny or a purpose. However, we have a habit of wrapping our “destiny” in a cocoon of egotism and self-worth. God does not receive honor because we are hyperfocused on how the result will benefit us. When that happens, we knock God out of the equation, leaving ourselves open to all pitfalls.

We should let God tell us what we are meant to do. We open ourselves up to his leadership when we stop running from God.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding…” 1 Corinthians 13:12 says, “For now, we see through a glass, darkly…” Christ designed us to depend on him for survival and wisdom—we need Jesus to tell us what to do with our lives. Psalm 100:3 tells us we can’t claim ownership of our lives because Christ made us.

These three scriptures combined confirm that we have no authority to determine our own lives and, therefore, need the spiritual guidance of our heavenly father to survive even to the next minute. So, why would we waste precious, irreplaceable time obsessing over what is best for us?

I thank you, Jesus, for the day I stopped running, opened my heart to your voice, and returned home. Being human, I admit I will still have moments when I want to do things my way. But by gifting my talents to the one who gave them to me, I now have a fulfilling life that brings me joy as I honor Christ. And he gets the glory out of my life as I tell you (the reader) about what he’s done for me.

It’s funny how our minds work. But MY GOD is GREATER!