Cleave Only to God

Singleness is not a time of isolation…

He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor from the Lord, - Proverbs 18:22 (image: Unsplash)

Ladies, let’s face it. We have all planned our ideal wedding. Like every movie we have ever watched, we’ve spent years dreaming about how the entire production will happen: the ceremony, reception, pictures, THE DRESS, bridesmaids, flowers, and that beautiful engagement ring.

Watching my friend plan her wedding felt terrific because I was allowed to share in her future happiness. At the same time, this celebration made me feel lonely because it reminded me of my singleness. No, I wasn’t the only one in the bridal party without a husband or kids, but it sure felt like it sometimes. While my flesh made me feel so alone, I knew I couldn’t stay stuck in that emotion, especially since my best friend needed my support during this uneasy and exciting time.

So, I started praying and asking God for help managing my feelings. I went to His word, searching deeply for guidance on how to find contentment in my singleness. This helped me feel less lonely and ease the anxiety of finding love—not just physical love but one that would please God.

As women mature, it feels like we climb one relationship mountain after another without anything valuable to show. Though we women cling to Genesis 2:18, which says, “It is not good for man to be alone,” maybe it’s a good thing for us to learn how to be alone. Not forever, but until we get good at doing three key things:

Wait on the Lord and be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thy heart. - Psalm 27:14 (Image: Unsplash)

Belonging to Christ:

Now, ladies, I hear you saying that you are God’s child, entitled to the best, and God in Genesis 2 calls you “a good thing.” However, do not let your status distract you from your original purpose: serving GOD with your bodies and minds. He created us to need and depend on him, not man.

Before you can belong to a man, you must belong to Christ.

Because too many of us take relationship advice from the “I’ve ARRIVED because I’m married” or “Why wait for Mr. Right when you can have Mr. RIGHT NOW?” or “I can’t seem to stop picking the same type of man,” or my personal favorite, the “I don’t need a man to complete me because I’m a boss who can have it all, and any man that I want” crowd, we block God’s ability to complete us.

Leading your life with godly patience instead of prideful gain or expectation changes your perspective of love and fulfillment.

Waiting on Christ:

Several scriptures speak of the virtues of waiting on God. However, the one that stands out to me is Matthew 6:33, which says that seeking God more than the world’s temporary ideas of happiness and fulfillment positions you to receive everything you need. God sees your devotion and matches it with his grace, paving the way for the blessings he promised in his word. Could that mean a husband? God did say that he withholds no good thing from them that walk uprightly in him. So…maybe. But even if it doesn’t, God never leaves or divorces you.

Bear ye one another’s burdens, so fulfill ye the law of Christ. - Galatians 6:2 (Image: Unsplash)

Submiting to Christ:

Ruth Chapter 2, one of the most beautiful love stories in the Bible, demonstrates how God used Ruth’s faithful submission to Christ after her first husband’s death and her devotion to her mother-in-law to guide Ruth to the man she was destined to marry, Boaz. Notice that the entire time she was both married and widowed, Ruth never lost her faith in God but used her time of singleness to surrender to his will and find her renewed purpose in HIM.

Here is a challenge: Think of your singleness as a ministry through which you can help other young women find their true identity, wholeness, and purpose in Christ instead of the world.

Now that I see my faith in a new light, I find joy in waiting for God’s timing. I’m so grateful for my friends’ happiness, and it makes me believe that one day, I’ll have that kind of love, too.

Knowing how God works amid my loneliness, I encourage everyone to trust him with your most vulnerable feelings. He knows precisely how you feel and knows how to heal your heart. This journey of faith and self-discovery has changed my life, and I can’t wait to see what’s in store.